


The End of the F***ing World

by MendelWeisenbachfeld



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Consensual Underage Sex, M/M, Past Abuse, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 18:02:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13440240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MendelWeisenbachfeld/pseuds/MendelWeisenbachfeld
Summary: Evan Hansen is 17.He thinks he might be a psychopath.Jared Kleinman is new to public school.He thinks he might be in love.





	1. one // evan

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off a personality swap au of Connor and Evan and a TV series/comic of the same name
> 
> POINT OF VIEW: EVAN

I was 7 when my dad left. His words echo in my head occasionally.

"The kid's a fucking psychopath. Hope he knows this is his fault, because it damn is."

I didn't mind it much. Maybe it is my fault. I hated the man. He was somewhere in Tulsa now, married with kids.

Maybe those kids weren't as fucked. We'd never know.

I was 13 when I burnt firecrackers in my old house. My left arm is still wrapped in a medical cast. We relocated next to the Murphy's. My mum tried to befriend their boy and I. 

He could hardly get a sentence out. I couldn't take it.

After punching Connor during one of his anxiety attacks whilst he made a sour attempt to order pizza on the phone, I was no longer allowed over at the Murphy's.

It was the best thing to happen to me.

I was 17 when I met Jared Kleinman.

He walked up to me and threw his bag on the table. I had already wanted to punch him in the face. He took a seat across from me and I knew he would attempt conversation.

"You're Evan."

"Evan," I repeated.

"Evan Hansen." 

"Yes."

"My mom knows your mom," he said. He looked stupid. I wanted to hit him.

"Okay," I replied.

"I'm Jared." I wanted to kill him.

"Okay."

"Do you have a phone?" Could I kill him?

"No."

"Why not?" He would be so easy.

"I don't like them."

"Will you come over to my house?" I can kill him.

"Come to mine."

"Do you have video games?" No, I don't.

"Yes, I do."

We walked to my house together. He was irritably greeted by my mum. I told her to not talk to us for the rest of the afternoon and dragged Jared up to my bedroom.

"Where is your console?"

I sat on my bed. There was a knife in my mattress. I would have to be quick to get it. "I lied."

"You just wanted me over. How cute." Jared grinned. He looked so stupid. I wanted to choke him, and throw him out the window.

Instead, I motioned him over.

He sat with me and we stared at the wall for about five minutes.

"I want to date you," he said flatly.

"What?" I looked at him.

"I want to date you, Evan."

I blinked, then looked down. "Okay."

He took this as a reason to be able to reach over and hold my hand. He prodded the fabric of the wrap. "What happened to your arm?"

"Fuck off."

He shifted, squeezing my hand. "Alright." 

We sat in another wave of uncomfortable silence. He let go of my hand and rested his on my thigh. He rubbed the inside, which oddly felt nice.

"Have you ever sucked a dick," he asked.

"Sure," I replied. "Once.

"Will you suck mine?"

"Right now?" I looked at him. He nodded.

So I gave him a quick blow job and as I did, I reached into the mattress. He was occupied with whimpering out my name. I slid the knife out and almost thought about slicing it right off. The vision made me ache. I pulled off once he came and wiped my mouth. 

"Damn," he mumbled as he pulled his boxer and pants back up. I kicked the knife under the bed. "I could suck yours, if you want."

"No," I said.

It was then that I decided I would get up and kiss Jared. It was terrible. He was open mouthed and sloppy. I stopped trying, but he continued to go at it. 

It got late and my mum made him leave. She asked what we did. I told her we hung out.

I wasn't sure if I could kill him. The image would flash in my head. I'd get a rush, then I'd hear his screams. I don't know if I can kill Jared. Maybe I could love him.


	2. two // jared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is attempted pedophilia in this chapter so trigger warning on that

I had promised to meet Evan at 11 A.M the next day. I woke up early. I had a dream about him. I shifted uncomfortably then looked down, sighing.

In about twenty five minutes I was ready to start the walk to Evan's house. As soon as I inched toward the door, I was stopped.

"Where are you going?" My dad stood in front of the door. I stepped back.

"Evan Hansen's house, we're playing games. Let me go."

"Did you forget about the brunch?"

I looked at him with a flat expression. I didn't forget, but I didn't care. I wanted to spend time with my boyfriend. Not eat with my depressing excuse of a family.

We went to the diner and as they chatted with old friends, a waitress approached me. "Hungry?"

I laughed and nodded. "I would like a banana split with extra fucking cherries."

The waitresses eyes popped open. "Excuse me?"

"I like the cherries."

"Sir, you can't use language like that here."

"I'm sorry." I smiled innocently, looking down. "Actually, I'll take a big banana shit, with extra fucking cherries, a fucking strawberry-"

"I'm sorry, that's enough, you need to leave."

I flashed a grin at her as I got out of the booth. "You're a savior."

I went to Evan's house from there. I didn't even tell my parents. As I walked, I thought.

I was going to make a risky and permanent decision.

I knocked on Evan's door loudly. He answered it in a matter of five seconds.

"Miss me?" I walked in and grabbed Evan's hands. I pulled him to the couch and sat him down. I was serious about this. I hoped he'd agree.

"We need to leave," I said.

"What?"

"This town," I stressed. "It's shit! Our lives are fucking shit! I'm leaving and it's up to you whether you're coming or not."

Evan looked at me for a moment. He bit his lip. "Let's take my mum's car." He paused. "But I want to do something first."

Evan pulled me to the Murphy's house. He knocked on the door and it was opened by an older man, probably Connor and Zoe Murphy's dad. Evan slammed his fist right into his eye and grabbed my wrist, running to the car.

We got in and we were off. We drove for hours, not completely sure where we were heading.

"I need to pee," I mumbled. Evan looked over and stopped the car at a gas station. I walked in, finding the restroom. I groaned upon seeing an older man there. 

He talked to me as I did my business. It was weird and gross.

"I haven't seen you around before."

"Road trip," I said flatly. 

"How old are you?"

"I'm 16."

"I'm sure you have a lovely girl with you, don't you?"

That's when he reached for me. I stumbled back, my eyes growing, and felt myself being pulled. I looked back and saw Evan. He stared wildly at the man. I pulled my pants back up quickly, taking uneven breaths.

"Give me your wallet," Evan stated firmly.

The man shook his head. "No, no, I- what is this?"

"I will call the police and let them know your faggy hands were on a minor. Give it to me."

The man hesitantly reached in his pocket and pulled out his wallet. Evan snatched it and pulled me out of the restroom. I followed him to the car.

"You good?"

I nodded, still in shock from what he had just done.

"Did he touch you?"

Evan cared. Or, he seemed to. It made me feel closer to him. It made me think, I could probably love this boy. "He didn't."

So we sped off from the stop and I turned on the radio. The silence was deafening. I started regretting our decision. I wondered if he did, too.


End file.
